Episode 27: Susan Ruth

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Ron begins by introducing the guest, Susan, and then asking her how she listens to people, and what strategy she implements when she listens to others.

• Susan said she learned early on that it’s not the best to be the smartest in the room.
• She then continues by saying that it’s okay to just listen to others talk about their experience, or their opinion, or tell a story without injecting your own into the mix as well. 

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Michelle says she has listened to a few episodes of Susan’s Hey Human Podcast, and admires how she’s able to draw out what people are thinking. She then asks what practices she implements in order to be able to accomplish that.

• Susan says she thinks that people are inherently shy, even the blowhards of the world, who will only give you the surface level stuff because they’re scared of what might be laying underneath.
• She continues that she enjoys leaving space to allow people to talk, and some people find silence uncomfortable and will continue to talk, which allows her to draw out people’s thoughts.
• Ron follows up by asking how Susan uses the word “space” in art, music, podcasting, or wherever.
• Susan details the difference what she means by space in each of the different mediums of art.

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Michelle asks Michelle is able to notice the things that are unsaid in those silences and spaces she leaves.

• She says that she’s not waiting for the person to finish so she can say what she has to say, but rather that she’s taking that space and time to take in what they are really saying.
• Ron asks what she means by “taking it in,” to which Susan is gives an example, and the history on why she likely has the ability to read other people’s emotions before they even notice it themselves.
• Ron asks how she holds that responsibility of noticing people’s moods before they do, and what is she focused on.
• Susan describes her own experiences, helping others to understand that it is not all about yourself, and ensuring to give others the space they need to say what they need to say.
• She continues by saying that everything she experiences is filtered through herself, as her own lens.
• Ron follows up by repeating back the story that he made up which is that we are responsible for ourselves and our own emotions first.
• Susan explains her mindset of going into each new conversation with people, making sure that we each understand our own selves.

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Michelle says that through listening to Susan’s podcast, she has heard Susan talk a lot about being authentic. She then asks Susan what ‘being authentic’ means to her.

• Susan describes how we all need to understand that everyone is just doing the best they can, but that is a sliding scale.
• She continues by describing the process she goes through mentally when encountering a person that makes a decision she likely wouldn’t have made in that same scenario.
• She says that authenticity is grounded in truth, being who you are as much as you can, but that authenticity is inauthentic because who is to say what authenticity is, because it is different for each person.
• Susan says how we even wearing different faces around different people is even a form of being authentic in each of the different situations.
• Ron describes how he understands the word ‘authentic’ and how he carries that fundamental view both as he is working to understand both himself and others.
• Susan has learned through interviews that she is also the same as every single person she has interviewed for her podcast.

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Ron asks Susan to continue and expand on her mindset of “I am them” and having a piece of every person she has interviewed in her, especially when they say things that are different.

• Susan explains how she has an innate understanding of her presence and mindset around other people.
• She says that she knows who she is, and that allows her to truly place herself in others shoes.

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Ron says one of the concepts they teach is the “scared self,” and describes how we each hide ourselves might be different but the one thing that is the same is that we are all afraid. He then asks Susan how she deals with fear.

• Susan says it is different based on what it is that she is afraid of, but that it is all based off of ego.
• She says she looks back on her own life and wishes she could go back and tell the younger version of herself so many things.

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Michelle then asks what she would say if she could go back in time and whisper into the ear of her younger self.

• Susan says that she would try to explain to her younger self that ego is the mind killer, and the root of all of your worries and fears.
• She continues to describe how important it is to help others remember who they are.
• Susan then asks Michelle and Ron what they would say and how they deal with their egos.
• Michelle says she often reminds herself that she is ‘perfectly imperfect’ and that the imperfections are where the beauty truly is.
• Ron says that his story to go back to his younger self is to just tell them that they are enough, through any wins and losses in life, that you are truly enough.
• Ron continues that as much as he would love to go back and teach his younger self certain things, going through those tough experiences and lessons is what brought him to where he is today, so really he wouldn’t go back and change it.
• Ron also points out that something he has learned is that everyone in life is just as scared as you are.
• Susan describes a mindset or theory he has about the innocence of youth and how it makes people act out.

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Ron has Susan continue to speculate down the same train of thought, and asks what she is speaking into the world.

• Susan says that to the world she wants to tell everyone that they are worthy of love, and that each person is perfect, even with all of their imperfections.
• She explains how in her mindset it is impossible to fully experience love for another until you can fully love yourself.
• Michelle says that her message to the world is similar in that you have to first love yourself in order to be able to love others.
• Michelle explains how learning this lesson, and learning imperfections are perfect, took her a long time to understand.
• Susan explains how every person’s story is worthy and enough, and how we are always in a symbiotic relationship with others around us.

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Ron asks Susan if she has any questions for himself or Michelle.

• Susan asks Ron and Michelle why they started the podcast.
• Michelle gives the story about how both of them are introverts, and neither wanted to start a podcast, but that the importance of the message they are trying to spread drives them to continue.
• Ron says it really started when he began writing his thoughts and philosophies down, and how over time creating a podcast seemed like a logical step in order to help spread the story he is creating even further.

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