Ron Macklin and Deb Dendy
Deb opens the episode asking Ron about his new book Everyone Is Afraid, to which Ron confesses that the book was not his first attempt at writing. The previous book he wrote was a more factual recounting of his journey of self-discovery. However, he soon realized that simply detailing his experiences was not engaging or relatable enough to the readers. He wanted to share what he had learned about fear and human connection in a more relatable, impactful way. This led him to create this book where characters grapple with their fears, fostering a deeper sense of relatability and empathy in the readers.
Ron says one of the central messages in his book is that fear is a universal human experience. Rather than something to be eradicated, Ron suggests that acknowledging and talking about our fears can help us understand and manage them better. Moreover, he believes that our shared fears can be a catalyst for deeper connections with ourselves and others.
The conversation also delves into how the characters in the book were conceived. Ron explains that they are amalgamations of people he has met and interacted with in his life. While their names and identities have been changed to protect their privacy, their experiences and fears reflect real human struggles.
Ron shares his own journey of overcoming fear by writing this book. A book, he says, that not only recounts his experiences but also explores the universality of fear. It sends a message that everyone, regardless of their background or circumstances, experiences fear.
Ron underscores how fear can affect us in different ways. Often, we are misled into believing that we are the only ones dealing with fear. This belief further intensifies the feelings of fear, making us feel alone and vulnerable. However, when we realize that everyone experiences fear, it becomes less intimidating. This shared vulnerability can be a source of relief, courage, and even connection with others.
Moreover, Ron highlights the strategies people often use to cope with fear, such as sarcasm and building emotional shields. These defenses are not to eliminate fear but to manage it. He asserts that acknowledging our fears, rather than attempting to eliminate them, can lead to deeper connections with ourselves and others. When one exposes their vulnerabilities, it eliminates the chance for others to exploit them. This shift in perspective transforms vulnerability from a weakness into a source of empowerment.
After questioning from Deb, Ron shares some deeply personal experiences that have significantly impacted his understanding of fear and how it interacts with different facets of life such as family, work, and trust. He candidly opens up about a profound moment in his life that made him reevaluate his priorities.
Ron and Deb jointly question the conventional understanding of success that equates it to working long hours, getting promotions, and earning more money. They points out that time doesn't pause for us to achieve our goals, emphasizing that postponing happiness for future success can result in missing out on the present joys and opportunities.
Ron talks about a pivotal review he received at work, where he was told that he had not done anything to build trust with other managers, despite his success and recognition. This made him realize that trust is not just about demonstrating competence but also about building personal connections and showing vulnerability.
Ron then tells the story of how he reconnected with Dr. Bowen White, who had a significant influence on his life. This reconnection and subsequent friendship further underline the importance of open communication and vulnerability in building trust and meaningful relationships.
Ron says the idea behind his book was to provide a means to aid others in managing their fears as well. Ron and Deb underscore the power of shared narratives and open discussions about fear, emphasizing the profound impact they can have on individuals dealing with similar experiences.
The conversation then transitions to how creating an open environment for discussing books can facilitate such dialogues. By talking about their fears openly, people can ease the process for others to do the same. It helps to break the societal taboo around fear and anxiety, empowering people to acknowledge their fears without feeling alone or stigmatized.
To find Ron’s book – search “Everyone Is Afraid” on Amazon.
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