Episode 49: How to Resolve Blame, Shame, and Guilt with Molly Mandelberg
Ron opens by asking guest Molly Mandelberg to introduce herself and what she does.
- Molly says runs Wild Hearts Rise Up, where she helps coaches and holistic practitioners that conscious service-based businesses to do their work.
- She also notes that she has lived nomadically for the last 14 years, and is currently continuing that lifestyle by living in a sprinter van.
Deb then asks Molly what stories changed for her that enabled her to embark on the journey she is on right now.
- Molly says all of her stories had to change, discussing some of her traumas that had to overcome and change the story of in her own head.
- She also discusses the numerous stories that she had to overcome in order to start her business, and continue running and growing her business.
- She recognizes that as she helps others through her work, that her own stories have come up to stop her, and that happens with her clients as well.
- Deb asks Molly what enabled her to move past these stories, to which she responds that she finally had a vision greater than her fear.
Ron asks her to speak more about what having a vision greater than her fear means for her.
- Molly lists a few of her fears that she had to overcome, and what she had to change her stories to.
- Ron asks her if the fears are gone now, to which Molly says they do come back from time to time, but has discovered what helps her push past those stories and change those stories in her head.
Deb recalls a blog she read on Molly’s website, and asks Molly about some of the connections in her life that she’s made.
- Molly notes that making connections with people is the most important thing, even more than just making the right deal.
- She continues by describing how important the right connections with other people that are interested and following a similar path.
- She adds that having a good connection with yourself is also important, and can drastically change the way that you interact with others.
Ron asks Molly to speak more about how we craft the stories that we tell ourselves, how she crafts those stories, and how it helps her live a good life.
- Molly says a lot of the stories we tell ourselves come up automatically, as they have been taught to us once and then are ingrained in us.
- She says that she spends time writing and critically evaluating whether the story she has is helping her, and then whether the opposite of that story can be true, and looks for proof of that as well.
- That type of critical thinking enables her to change the stories in her own head, and notes that there are different modalities that help different people.
- Molly describes how this process has enabled her to do the work that she is doing in her life.
Deb recalls another blog she read on Molly’s website, and asks about the impact of blame, and what it means for Molly to come clean.
- Molly says that blame, shame, and guilt are stories that we typically hold onto for a long time, because we don’t know how to reconcile those stories, often because they involve someone else.
- She then goes through an example of blame, and how taking responsibility for it can help you move past that story.
- She says that by going through that process and freeing yourself of that story is liberating.
- After prompting from Ron, Molly then walks through examples of what shame and guilt look like as well.
- Molly walks through a personal story of what she did to work through her own guilt about something that happened in the past.
- Ron and Deb contemplate what they took out of those stories, and relate some of their own personal experiences of working through those stories as well.
Molly asks Ron and Deb what their big “why” is.
- Ron says that they hold as humans we love to connect, and yet people don’t know how to do it because of stories in our own head.
- He describes how by forming those connections, they are trying to create a better world.
- Deb discusses her own transformation that has happened, and how she is looking to create that space for transformation for others.
- Ron adds how they are trying to flip the story around taking responsibility.
Deb asks Molly to share what she is doing and whatever else she wants to share with the listeners.
- She describes the work she is doing, and what the end goal of doing this work is.
- Molly also notes that she has written a book called Wild Hearts Rise Up about her transformation and her experience.
Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self-talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.
Links for Molly:
WildHeartsRiseUp.com
Read Molly's Book
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