Episode 34: Stand

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Michelle opens by saying she looked up the definition of the word “stand” and noticed that it was listed as both a noun and a verb. She asks Ron’s take on this.

• Ron says that for him it is both, and then describes the circumstances in which each is used.
• He continues by detailing the way in which he thinks of the two definitions as one combined one when ‘being your stand.’
• Ron details what ‘being your stand’ really means, how he has re-examined his stand in situations to determine whether they are best for him or not, and changed his stand if he realizes it is not what he truly wants to stand for.
• Michelle asks for an example of a viewpoint on a stand that he took, but later changed.
• Ron then describes a story about changing the story of how he viewed lots of people and things as an enemy, but then was able to change that to competition which is a different, and in his opinion, healthier view.

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Michelle asks Ron to help her with the stand she has taken around her mom - taking care of her after her father passed, and giving her a dignified end of life.

• She describes her story about how she developed this stand around her mom, and what that meant for her.
• Ron says that the promise she made and carried as her stand, and made herself to be that way everyday, is powerful.
• Michelle then gives the story of how that stand also changed for her husband and daughter in the process of her holding that stand.
• Ron says that when that happens, it isn’t just your stand, but it is also their stand to be there and support you.
• He continues by saying that when you live your stand, there are no regrets because you are doing what you believe you should be doing.

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After realizing the changes that her husband and daughter made around her own stand to help her mom, Michelle asks Ron how your stand can make a difference of others?

• Ron uses this example to show how easy it is for other people to join you when you are living your stand, because they know who you authentically are and don’t have to worry about what you might do next.
• Ron continues to describe how if someone is not living their stand, how difficult that can be for others to be their stand and authentic self around you.

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Ron asks Michelle if she has a friend that is really good about living their stand, and what she noticed about being around that person.

• Michelle says a good friend of hers, their stand is to always see the best in someone.
• She describes how that changed her viewpoint towards other people, being around someone with that stand.
• Ron continues this line of thinking by asking if she has been around someone who their stand was not to be open, trusting, and vulnerable.
• Michelle relays the story of someone she plays tennis with on occasions, and how she lives in that space.
• Ron and Michelle continue the conversation about how others handle the situation that don’t have the same knowledge or lines of thinking, and what Michelle can try in the future to work this situation.

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Ron noticed Michelle used the work “vulnerability” in her answer, and then says how he is holding it differently than he used to.

• While he used to think this was an area that he was “weak” in, he is changing that story to be an area in which he can be courageous.
• He continues his thinking by saying the reason he is “weak” in those areas to begin with is because he hasn’t spent a lot of time in those types of situations before.
• Ron explains how this relates back to his stand.
• Michelle responds to his line of thinking, and what she does in situations similar to the one he described.
• They continue the conversation around their stand, how to recognize their stand, when they aren’t living their stand, and how to change or adjust your stand when you realize this is happening.

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Join us to hear how understanding the idea of “self talk” — and what you can do about it — could change your relationships and life for the better.

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