Maybe It's Me

Sometimes people just irritate me.  I mean they really irritate me. Well, I let them.  Wait, I don’t let them do it to me.  I do it to myself because I am a closed system, meaning I am responsible for my thoughts and actions.

It's Them

Do you ever have one of those days where everyone pisses you off?  You know, the one where you might even wake up pissed off?  The first person to talk to you irritates you (possibly that first voice is the one in your head).  The dog has to go out right now and won’t give you a second to even get to the door – “Darn it, he scratched the paint.  Again.  Seriously.”  No cold bottles of water in the fridge to take with you to work – don’t forget you may even have been the one to take the last one, so get a “should” in on yourself before you leave the house.  Then traffic.  Then the coffee at the office is out, 'you kill it, you fill it' has been forgotten.  Heck, even the wind is too loud or the sun is too bright or the internet is too slow.

Somewhere around person three or four I notice something and toss myself the line, “Maybe it’s me.”  This started as a question, but it is no longer a question for me.  Just simply, “Maybe it’s me.”  When number three or four shows up and, particularly if it is an inanimate object (you know, why is my pen out of ink already), I toss myself this line to remember I have a choice.

Person one, two, three, or four did not irritate me.  I had a thought, “They irritated me.”  At this point I have a choice, hold onto that thought or create something else.

No, It's Me

When I toss myself the line “Maybe it’s me,” I follow with a smile and chuckle and say in my head, “Of course, it’s me.  It can be no other.”  I sometimes toss “What’s missing?” or “Do I really want to be mad about that?” to help me fully re-center.  Frequently, the smile and chuckle are enough.  Along with, “Yep, it’s me alright.”

Although the number of times that I get to person three or four before re-centering is not too great, it is enough to find a pattern.  Consistently I find that I have not created my way of being prior to that string of events or even anytime during that day, let alone create other people’s ways of being.  By starting with creating my ways of being, I stay in my chosen stand.  When I create both my ways of being and those of others, I find that I am on my way to live a good life.

I can create to be with myself, with people, and be my stand in every interaction.  I can’t be my stand if I am irritated, at least not to the extent I intend.  

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