Moods and Me
Many times, I do not notice I am in a mood. Then my network tosses me a line, and I notice. If the mood I am in does not serve me or my network, I can quickly get upset that I am in that mood. (Yes, I am in a mood about being in a mood.) What are moods, where do they come from, how do I get rid of moods I don't want, and how do I create powerful moods when I choose?
What I am sharing here I don't claim to be truths or "the answer." It is what works for me, and I offer these lines as possibilities for you to try on like a pair of shoes. If the shoes fit and are useful, buy them. If this works for you, use it.
What is a Mood?
A mood is a story I make up in my head about my future. If my story holds that my future looks bleak, my mood can become depressed and cynical. If my future looks bright and inviting according to my story, I can be in a helpful and persevering mood. I don’t usually notice the mood, though, unless I notice my body sensations. Maybe someone says something that triggers me to flee, fight, or freeze. Or maybe I laugh, relax, or smile at the same words or actions. How I react in the moment to a trigger still depends on the stories I make up but ones I unintentionally create faster than I can control, which I call “flash” stories — a story that says another person is deliberately disrespecting or attacking me, for example. And both my body sensations and “flash” stories come out of my story, or mood.
Is it possible that all the stories come from outside me? Yes, there are stories outside me, and only I can make up the stories in my head. (I remind myself we are closed systems, nothing gets in…really.) I have heard that these stories are just a part of being human, and I am not really making up the stories, a claim I don’t accept. As humans, we all make up these stories. I choose responsibility for myself; whether I create my “mood” story or my uncontrollable ones subconsciously or consciously, nobody but me is making them up.
Navigating Moods
Can I control my “flash” stories or body sensations? I wish I could. Right now, I am fair at hiding them or minimizing what others notice. Maybe world-class actors can. The only thing I have been successful in controlling is creating a new story, which changes my mood.
Can I simply replace “mood” stories? Again, I wish I could. When I try to forget something, I find I increase my awareness of the story. Try it on, see if you can choose to forget something. I have found that I can create a more compelling story that is ready-to-hand, and then the old story begins to fade. From this new story, my biology creates new “flash” stories and body sensations.
Adjusting Moods
My process for “fading” one “mood” story into the background with another goes like this:
- Notice body sensations and my “flash” stories
- Be responsible for everything about me
- Remind myself I am the one creating the story that affects my mood, and “flash” stories and body sensations are from my “mood” story
- Throw up my arms and say, "how fascinating"
- I create a new compelling “mood” story based on situations, my stand, and ambition
- Breathe and surrender to being human, meaning I can make up “flash” stories faster than I can control them, and be responsible for being me
- Share with my connections
- Have fun!
Whether you try out my process or have a process you’re working on, please get in touch and share what works for you. Email me at: RON@MACKLINCONNECTION.COM.
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