Allow Contribution

When I allow real contribution, I notice how engaged people become and how they remember the experiences.

Sometimes I feel as if I do not have enough time to get everything done. I am internally focused and cannot notice others who are willing to help. And if I do notice them, I tell myself I do not have time to show them how to help me and still get everything done. When I notice I’m doing this, I toss myself the line “allow contribution.”

Time With My Grandpa

I remember learning to drive my Grandpa Lorin’s wheat truck at harvest time. I was seven and I couldn’t reach the brake/clutch and see out the window at the same time. When I was eight though, I not only was driving the truck but also accepting a harvested load on the go, meaning I drove the truck at the same speed as the combine while Grandpa unloaded the freshly cut wheat into the truck. This memory has been so vivid for me for so many years because of how good it felt to contribute, to contribute to my family, to my Grandpa and to myself.

"Allow Contribution" Line

When I get busy with my Self Talk and my Scared Self has me internally focused, I can so easily miss opportunities to allow contribution from others. When I have the story that I don’t have time to teach someone, this is the line I toss to myself:

“If you act like you've only got fifteen minutes, it will take all day. Act like you've got all day, it will take fifteen minutes.” - Monty Roberts

I accept their help and I choose my way of being, “I have all the time in the world to focus on helping the other person learn how to help me.” I set aside all the other things I need to get done and act as if I have all day to teach them how to help me. I notice we both start to have fun and they learn really fast and start doing a great job. And quickly they are going along without my help. It took much less time than my Scared Self made up.

I have done it the other way, trying to rush through as if I only have 15 minutes. I hit the high points, skip over details and get frustrated when they are not learning. Neither of us are having any fun, it takes many hours and they never really learn how to help me. When I get back to my other actions, I am tired, behind and stressed.

When I Allow Others to Contribute

When I allow real contribution, I notice how engaged people become and how they remember the experiences. Allowing contribution can be as simple as a granddad letting his 8-year- old grandson drive a truck to help with the harvest, or as complex as a manager accepting unexpected and new offers of help from a team of 150 people working for him or her. The connection between the person who allowed contribution and the person who contributed, lasts.

When I notice others who get so busy they don’t notice the long-term benefit of allowing contribution, I toss the line. Like my Grandpa, who had a dedicated helper whenever he asked, I notice those who get the opportunity to contribute become dedicated and willing team members. They develop a care for the success of the team, group, business or family.

(In case you are wondering if I was perfect at driving the truck, uh no. I had some epic failures, well, epic to an 8-year-old. We’ll get to that in a future article.)

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