Choose Being! Part 1

I get to choose who I will be in every situation, when I hold I get to choose.

I choose to be humble about what I don't know, curious, open, grounded in the little I do know, open to humor, willing to trust, passionate about taking care of my existential purpose and a minus Self.

“I do NOT want to talk to THAT person!  I have had conversations before and I KNOW just how the conversation is going to go.  She will have all the right answers and will be telling me with certainty how life works … and how our team is not meeting their needs or how they are not going to use us anymore.”  I actually have a long list of stories just like this.  When I notice my body preparing for fight or flight before an upcoming situation, which is something I am making up, I toss the line to my Self to “Choose Being!”, or “Choose how you are being with others”.

First, I look at how I am being with the person now.  What stories am I telling myself about the person, their situation, my concerns and their concerns?  How am I using my stories to shape how I am being?  Am I frightened, mad, remorseful, vengeful, scared (ok, we know I am always scared), arrogant, distrusting, spiteful, or another way of being?  This is when I have to remind myself, “How will I improve if I can’t be honest with myself?”.

Second, I reflect on my existential purposes:  to take care of myself so I can take care of Koni, produce space for our children to become, and take care of those I consider family.

Third, I choose who I will be in the upcoming situation.  I choose to be humble about what I don’t know, curious, open, grounded in the little I do know, open to humor, willing to trust, passionate about taking care of my existential purposes, and a minus self.  When I do this, I notice the excessive gravitas I created for the situation is gone and I can notice the conversation differently.

When I notice the dread of an upcoming conversation in others around me, I toss them the line “Choose Being!”.  What are they making up about the situation and how are they choosing to be?  What do they really care about in life?  Who would they choose to be, to best take care of their existential purposes?  I share, “I get to choose who I will be in every situation, when I hold that I get to choose”.

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