On Being Enough

Believing we are not enough has negative consequences for ourselves and everyone around us.  When we think we are not enough we fear that our actions will result in failure or we will be failures.  We simply will not measure up.  If we could only believe that we were enough. Enough for someone to think we’re valuable. Enough for someone to even notice us. Enough for us to believe in ourselves.

Celebration and Being Enough

I hold that ‘being enough’ is an assessment I make about myself, sometimes fundamentally and sometimes in a specific domain. When I declare that I am enough, I am saying that I have done my best in the past. I am declaring that I am a human being who is present in this moment, and comfortable with what I’ve done in the past and with who I am. I am quite simply: me.

Right now, exactly as we are, we are good enough. - Brené Brown

A practice that re-centers me is ensuring that I’ve celebrated sufficiently.  Party, maybe; but celebrate, definitely. Don’t get me wrong, I find it terribly difficult to pat myself on the back and tell myself what great things I’ve done. I can see and hear my dad and baseball coaches right now ensuring that I don’t brag or gloat! And when I hear that voice (which has long since transformed into my Scared Self), I toss myself the line: "Celebration is a powerful practice that enables me to move forward in life with freedom and autonomy."

I Am Enough

To practice reflecting back on what I have done, what I have accomplished, who I’ve helped, and the positive differences that I’ve made in people’s lives is what it means to celebrate (vs a party). When I reflect back to times where I gave it my all and still didn’t succeed, I smile. I realize that my ‘failures’ are relatively inconsequential to my life and ambition yet produce great learning for my future actions. And I’ve been successful many more times than I’ve failed, sometimes even unintentionally!

When I hold that I am enough, I’m able to:

• Be present and authentic
• Listen with absolute empathy
• Try new things and experiment in ways I previously thought impossible
• Be accepting of myself and others
• Be satisfied, and satisfiable
• Accept compliments and allow others to contribute

When I don’t hold that I am enough, I:

• Try hard to fit other people’s expectations
• Am afraid to make mistakes
• Am even more afraid to admit that I made mistakes
• Decline compliments and appreciation from others
• Can become paralyzed by fear-induced risk

I choose to be enough.